So, if you keep going on and off the SSRIs, you will have those
brain zaps. I also think Lexapro is a stronger version of
Zoloft, so if you gotta be on them, you can try the sister drug Zoloft, and you'll have less side effects, especially at a lower dose, like between 50 and 100mg.
I also feel like you do about antidepressants. I wish I had never gotten on the SSRIs, mainly because I still have depression. It helps with other things, tho.