The hurt of loosing a loved one can be devastating, but, try to always remember the good times, and know that you did your very best for them and that you have nothing to be guilty about, they would not want you to be
sad or guilty, I know my mother wouldn't and your loved ones want you to be happy.
I will miss my mother forever until I see her in heaven. I am blessed to still have my wonderful dad, but, I know that, too will end, then I will have no one, I am an only child.