funny broken leg jokes

can we post jokes on here. I have a funny one that made me chuckle 2day which I totally needed. I saw on the social side that you can't someone said. Let me know and I will post it.

So everyone likes to joke about my belly button I had a family reunion two weeks ago and my cousin said it looks Like I have a 3rd nipple..

I know it's good to have a sense of humor ...but I'm honestly sick of the pregnancy jokes already! Maybe it's because I work around a lot of employees plus I work with the public so it's pretty much constant but I'm so annoyed already and I'm only 27 weeks !!

I don't know if this is a bipolar issue or not. I know that all people have the "not me but you" theory. As in, when you see a public service announcement saying "Smoking kills" something inside your head says, "Yes, smoking is very bad for other people, but not me." (this is just an example, we do it with all types of things.) It is the same with jokes.

Does anyone else get offended by jokes that people always make about STDs, particularly herpes? Since I just got diagnosed with herpes I find them very offensive now. My question is should I be offended? And why do people find herpes so funny?

I don't have any jokes but some personal experiences as a child. *blush* as well as some funny bug- human comparisons. One day I was standing and all of a sudden let out a really high pitched one... My parents heard it too. I asked them, "Why is my butt whining?" Being into insects, especially ants I learned how they leave pheromones (sent trails) by emitting gasses from the tips of their abdomens on the ground. Those chemicals are picked up by the other colony members.

As for ideas, one April fools day I played some practical jokes on my husband that he thought was pretty funny. And not a single one hurt him or anything else! The first thing I did was have some of my neighbor friends move his car out of our driveway the night before, after my husband was in bed. You should have seen us! Four of us moving the car across the street, giggling like kids and wondering what the police might think if they saw us!

(!!! THIS IS A JOKE !!!) I found this funny so I thought I'd share. I was researching the MTHFR gene before my Doctor's appointment today and found this. A moment of levity. Pregnancy Q & A Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth.

I can't wait until my husband does this. This is our first baby and I'm 12 weeks 4days and he doesn't seem interested at all.

That was way too funny....

AHAHAAH... No you're not at all. We're pregnant #1. My boyfriend does the same thing. It's like he has this weird sense of humor where he thinks he's being funny, but any "normal" person would be like... "Um .. Ok?" Sometimes it does **** me off, I don't feel like hearing his smart comments or any of his ridiculous jokes. I love him to death, but it's just annoying x10 now that I'm pregnant. I've responded rudely plenty times.

Recently my 8 year old son has started telling fart jokes and now thinks gross/gory topics are really funny. He's burping in people's faces (and thinks this is funny!), blurting out crude things, repeating stuff he's heard from other kids, and making up his own tactless jokes which he will tell to anyone, even people in the line at the grocery store. Where did his manners go?? Most recently he flashed his privates at some girls (daughters of a family friend), they yelled "gross!

Or it could all be in my head lol really its not funny but when you have anxiety you sometimes have to make jokes...for sanity purposes lol. Thanks for your time to answer me.

These are funny!!!! So does anyone know if we dump the whole can of Slimfast in the washer??!!!!

I can identify with "weird leg" feelings and dizziness, I've had both. My left leg used to get a distinct "weak/heavy" sensation and it would feel like I wouldn't be able to walk or push down the clutch or whatever--but it wasn't actually weak, I could actually do stuff with it. Same thing would happen to my left arm. The weirder thing was when I had some short episodes of feeling like my legs were tree trunks.

Ok so you know how you get cramps in your legs right! Well have any of you gotten cramps in your butt checks??? Well I have and I don't know how to stretch it t make it feel better I'm going crazy walking around with only one check cramping up.... I'm almost dragging one leg behind me it's so uncomfortable please help a girl out!!!

Hey guys dont get up set over the jokes we can make a FB page and shoot it right back at them haha get even! Better YouTube I can make a video I will do interviews of patients we can all tell our story and SLAM JOAN RIVERS for her uncaring ways my luck she would show up at my front door with a camera and I would be arrested for assalt.

yestuday it started with sharp bck pain n pelvic pressure right after carrying my 3 & 4 yr olds.. my unddies got wet n they still get a bit wett n smells funny not fishy or an awful smell... ive been going way more to the restroom about 4-5 times not counting the two times i go before falling asleep... monday 18 the doctor told me i was 0 dilated n not enffaced..... what do you guys think it is...

Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it. The first hunter says "Wow, that's some hole, I can't even see the bottom, I wonder how deep it is?" The second hunter says" I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom.

Darn hair lol my belly looks like a blonde monkey's :-( thank goodness my bf just jokes about it and doesn't mind it lol! Heck he said he knows it's getting hard to reach my legs to shave them so he doesn't care if those atte shaved either! Although I can't stand that feeling lol.

We had pizza for lunch, so I scribbled notes to my colleague, back and forth, back and forth. Then I wrote something that was relevant to our training and very funny. My colleague laughed, but not nearly as much as I did. I had the giggles, and a picture in my mind. I probably giggled on and off for 20 minutes, Was it really THAT funny, and I just had normal giggles, or was it mania? I enjoyed all the laughing! I guess the others would have thought that I don't take my job seriously?

Maybe in these rough times a sarcastic, brutally honest, yet funny woman can help lighten our spirits.

Funny broken leg jokes

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