funny break up quotes jokes

That and most of the jokes. I do laugh when i hear something that I think is funny, but to sick and read joke after joke, it's just not something that I want to take the time of my 'computer-time' to be doing. And contrary to the going trend, I don't stay on the computer or smart phone all darn day and night.

Here are just a few funny quotes that will make you laugh and brighten your days. If you all have any, please post................ 1. "To often, we lose sight of lifes simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and b****-slap that mother.... upside the head. Pass it on... " ? ? 2. "Be tolerant of the human race.

I like a thread of lighthearted jokes for the mood that I have been in lately........so I will even contribute some more "Did ya ever think about it" kind of stuff. *If money doesnt grow on trees....why do banks have branches? *Why is it that you "put your two cents in" - - Yet theres only "a penny for your thoughts" .........Where is the extra cash going? *Why did we put a man on the moon before we figured out that it was good idea to put wheels on our luggage?

can we post jokes on here. I have a funny one that made me chuckle 2day which I totally needed. I saw on the social side that you can't someone said. Let me know and I will post it.

I LOVE the jokes! Thank you so much! Always cheers me up so much to be able to laugh a little! My contribution for today! Big Foot - Hide and Seek Champion! Instant human - just add coffee. And, finally, if life give you melons, you may be dyslexic.

So everyone likes to joke about my belly button I had a family reunion two weeks ago and my cousin said it looks Like I have a 3rd nipple..

I don't know if this is a bipolar issue or not. I know that all people have the "not me but you" theory. As in, when you see a public service announcement saying "Smoking kills" something inside your head says, "Yes, smoking is very bad for other people, but not me." (this is just an example, we do it with all types of things.) It is the same with jokes.

I know it's good to have a sense of humor ...but I'm honestly sick of the pregnancy jokes already! Maybe it's because I work around a lot of employees plus I work with the public so it's pretty much constant but I'm so annoyed already and I'm only 27 weeks !!

I haven't noticed any HCV jokes, but I hardly watch tv - just old movies, PBS Masterpiece shows and the Colbert Report, and so far I haven't seen any HCV jokes in any of those places. I'd be awfully upset if I did hear any though, and your reaction sounds reasonable to me.

Lol omg ladies I just got my whole family I woke up put water on the floor and said my water broke lol they went crazy now I see the reaction I'll get when it really happens

As for ideas, one April fools day I played some practical jokes on my husband that he thought was pretty funny. And not a single one hurt him or anything else! The first thing I did was have some of my neighbor friends move his car out of our driveway the night before, after my husband was in bed. You should have seen us! Four of us moving the car across the street, giggling like kids and wondering what the police might think if they saw us!

That's too funny! My husband came up with a funny one when I was pregnant with our son. After he was born he asked me.."So, how did it feel to have a penis inside you for 9 mos?

Does anyone else get offended by jokes that people always make about STDs, particularly herpes? Since I just got diagnosed with herpes I find them very offensive now. My question is should I be offended? And why do people find herpes so funny?

I can't wait until my husband does this. This is our first baby and I'm 12 weeks 4days and he doesn't seem interested at all.

We were in a fairly informal training session at a supplier today - new products. Great vibe at the training - before our first break I almost fell asleep, had a coffee and was better then. Toward the end of our training session I was so bored - and could not contain any more information, the switch just turned off. We had pizza for lunch, so I scribbled notes to my colleague, back and forth, back and forth. Then I wrote something that was relevant to our training and very funny.

Recently my 8 year old son has started telling fart jokes and now thinks gross/gory topics are really funny. He's burping in people's faces (and thinks this is funny!), blurting out crude things, repeating stuff he's heard from other kids, and making up his own tactless jokes which he will tell to anyone, even people in the line at the grocery store. Where did his manners go?? Most recently he flashed his privates at some girls (daughters of a family friend), they yelled "gross!

These are funny!!!! So does anyone know if we dump the whole can of Slimfast in the washer??!!!!

I will get you my pretty and your little dog too, which have you taken him for a walk

Funny break up quotes jokes

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