Hi, I have had depression for over 20 years too. At the moment I am a bit low. I have taken anti-depressants for all those years, but sometimes I have stopped them.
The longest I went without depression was a year. But it came back very bad.
I have always avoided sleeping tablets, and take herbal sleep aid if insomnia gets too bad.
i can understand why you don't want to see doctor again. How about you try slowly weaning yourself off the sleeping pills.