Please don't feel guilty AND You are NOT a bad girl!!! BUT if we do something that doesn't feel "quite right" to us, then we just re-think it and do differently in the future. ALL of us want to love and be loved. I only suggest that "friends with benefits" works more for Men than it does for Women. It's the "casual", "modern" attitude these days to just do whatEVER feels good - no strings, no commitment.
So they are in essence fooling themselves that all they want to be is friends with benefits and sadly, they end up getting hurt.
Sex is a great thing but not to be taken lightly. An unwanted pregnancy can derail a young lady's life. Don't get me wrong--------- I love children and have two of my own. But I have them with my husband who is committed to me and them. So, please always always use protection and take sex for the special act it is.
I have tried and failed at a couple of long distant relationships in college. It may work to begin with but chances are with the distance it is going to be tough. Not saying it can not work or will not work but it is tough. You will have friends and she will have friends and you will be doing different things at different times. And the last thing either wants to do is cheat.
So I think this is something where you and her should sit down and have a nice long talk about.
Then I would book a trip with my girlfriends and go on vacation. I would also call up some old friends and go to dinner or go out. I made sure I kept myself distracted all the time. At some point you find yourself in a much better place. Seven years is a long time and it will take some time to grieve the loss of this relationship, but don't fret, it will happen. Just give yourself some time, one month is not really that long. Good luck.
I know how you feel. It seems like this feeling will never go away and you cannot imagine yourself with someone else...what a bleak, depressing and dangerous feeling.
But please remember there is hope.
I know it's an old cliche but time really does heal...when I left my husband after 16 yrs. I was a mess. I missed my "old life" so much and I truly felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel.
Being attracted to other people is not something to break up over. Have you never looked at another guy while in a relationship? The point is that he's not acting on these things. I know one thing that helps my husband I is talking about our fantisies or attractions. The hubs has a weird thing for redheads so once in a while I'll buy a box of washout hair dye to surprise him. The point is give him some slack he's normal, it doesn't mean he's cheating or will cheat.
My family wants me to break up with my boyfriend and my boyfriends family thinks he's too involved with me and his dad doesn't really support it but his mom does(they're divorced btw). Anyway I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 20 and we've been together for almost a year.
Let me start out with this- I love my boyfriend to death. He's kind, caring, sweet, loving, attractive, smart...everything you could hope for in a significant other. We have great conversations, he's my best friend, we just get along wonderfully. There's one problem though. His voice has been annoying the hell out of me lately. It's not his normal voice, it's these impersonations, I guess you would call them, that he does.
So i posted a little while ago, about having a boyfriend who talks down to me constantly. Well I finaly got up the courage and broke up with him. I tried to act like an adult, and not put the blame on him for anything in particular. I just told him I wasnt happy, and i think its because we dont see things the same way anymore. He yelled a bunch and told me he never wanted to hear from me again. Which I suppose is for the best. I just need some advice on moving on, some inpsirational words.
t bear to break his heart and do what? Send him back home? What if I make a mistake? If I was to break up with him.. how the hell would I do this? It's scary to think about... but if it's not going to work in the long run, isn't waiting going to make it even worse for him? Sometimes I just want freedom to explore any other options, like meeting someone in my area who has all the qualities I want in someone.
But then I think about how loved I am..
Thank you for all the kind words and great ideas. I'm currently looking into some ADHD groups for myself to understand her better as I think that has something to do with this issue. She is in Girlscouts and that is good but only once a month. We have gotten her into other activities but she cannot stay focused on them and has trouble. I have had several playdates with her at my house, but what seems to happen that the two girls wants to do totally separate things.
t want to appear to be mean, but you need to do what is best for yourself. Did you talk to him about your reasons to break up? Does he know you're not in love anymore? You seem to be smart about it; you're aware that it would only drag the break up process if you get back with him. It's good that you realize that. Don't give in and continue being strong. Going out with friends will be good therapy for you. Good luck!
My ex-boyfriend and I were together for about 1.5 years. It was an amazing relationship full of love, communication, and mutual respect and support. We ended up splitting because of some issues related to his kids (whom I never met, because they were not open to meeting someone new, as their parents were newly divorced).
i want to know if i need therapy and what i should do to keep my relationship going and happy. above all i want to know how to escape from my past and stop freaking out over how similar i am to my mother or how our relationship is turning into that which my parents share. please help me with your comments. they will be valued very much.
I'm going to be blunt here and hope I don't upset you, but hear goes!
You say it's hard to explain - but the situation really isn't that complicated at all - he's getting casual sex from you, but this is clearly all he wants from you - if he wanted more he'd do away with the other women and give you the committment and respect of a monogomous relationship.
t want to be with my 1st love as I love this love. Start thinking of things you can do to keep yourself busy--------- meet up with friends and family, work on healing your knee with some exercise, explore what types of activities/hobbies you would like to do, think about getting back into the work force.
If you have PTSD, I'm assuming you see a psychiatrist and psychologist to deal with it. I'd talk to them about depression and anxiety. On your next appt.
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