The quickest way to get over a break up is to make sure you have zero contact with that individual. That means, no looking at their photos, reading their letters/emails/texts that you've saved, no trips down memory lane of all the fond memories you shared. Do you best to avoid that person and not run into them or be at places you know they are going to be. Once you've done that, start spending time with friends, or make new ones. Get yourself out there and start dating casually.
If you meet someone, they may then start showing up in your dreams too. If you end up getting back together with your ex, so be it. Time will tell with that. For now he is saying "not now".
Break ups are hard and take time to get over. I'd try to read a good book before bed and be good and tired when you turn off the light so that you drift off straight to sleep.
Probably you aren't in love with your real ex, but your "dream ex," that ideal guy that you wanted him to be, in an ideal marriage that you wanted to happen. Please think it over. If you are in love with an ideal that does not really exist, you're just in love with a fantasy in your head. Do you have control over that? Yes.
Believe it or not, my ex hubby and I are the best of friends and I could not ever go BACK to him. There was a time when I could've but I didn't want to.
At this time I am mourning another relationship that went bad and my ex hubby is one of my biggest supporters. I am hurting and I understand the obsessive thinking and the sleepless nights along with the constant crying.
If you want to be with the ex; then be with her and put the heartache of the cheating and the break-up in the past. But, if you want to start a new relationship with this new girl that you seem to like, then forget about the ex and never mind about possibly hurting her.
She dumped you... then she was dumped.
I can't imagine you or anyone else hurting her more than she's hurt herself.
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
I think we often have a normal curiousity about our ex's. One thing you can do to stop yourself from doing it officially if you can't stop on your own is to block your ex. Then you can't access his page.
It doesn't mean you want to be with him. It just means you are curious. And it kind of hurts or makes us happy at various moments depending on what they are doing with their lives. It is all normla and natural.
But I agree that it isn't always great.
Eventually he made a comment about how I have herpes due to an ex boyfriend. I told him that I had HPV due to that boyfriend and that in fact he gave me the herpes a couple of months ago. Although this is fact, it set him off. He began to yell violently in my face that I was a stupid *****. I was a ***** and always will be. I am a *****. A stupid ******* **** *****. That will all be delted out so lets just say he was screaming obscenities in my face.
Mine broke up with me once he found out I was pregnant , then he came back around after 2 months of no speaking at all it broke my heart to know he was messing around while I was heart broken at home we are not officially together but things can not be better he is so involve ( he wanted me to get an abortion bad) he is showing a side I never seen !!!! And I'm still hurt I still cry at nights just thinking about him being with other ppl and leaving me when I needed him the most ....
I'd suggest that you keep all "problems" separate. The management position is its own deal, the new guy your talking to is another separate deal and the dream about the old guy is yet another separate deal. Now you have to deal with each on of them on an individual basis.
I get the stress about the management position. It sounds brand new and anything new is stressful.
You called him when something happened, you called him probably all throughout the day so you have to just get out of that routine of wanting to talk to him. When I went through a major breakup I would find solace in the gym. I used to work out like crazy. I would take kick boxing, which I found to be extremely therapeutic in healing. I would take belly dancing to feel sexy. I would look good and feel good from the natural endorphins. It also gave me motivation and confidence.
This whole thing sounds volatile from the idea of his cheating on you and beating up his ex to you beating up him. That needs to get under control before a baby is there to witness this instability and out of control behavior on the adults part. I'm just being really honest. Experts say out of control 'yelling' in front of kids is so damaging . . . let alone any type of violence. So, I'm just a little worried about everyone here.
Only you can make that choice but I hate to see women put up with antics out of desperation of trying to hang on to a relationship where they put up with being disrespected at every turn.
So who is going to take the back seat. You? or Her? Ask your man who he chooses and expect him to honor the decision . If its you, she is not to be contacted or talked to out of respect for your relationship. If he refuses, get out.
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