Honestly,
how do YOU react to HER when she's bad? Do you react loudly, wave your arms around, yell, get mad? They learn their reactions from us, and I am NOT saying that you're a bad parent (so please don't think so..we've all been there!)
but if you want her to listen calmly, respond calmly, and learn discipline, you need to evaluate how you approach her.
Most kids have the odd tantrum. This is OK and natural.