They are similar medications, but something in the
Valtrex seems to affect people different than the acyclovir. The
Valtrex doesn't seem to be working anyway.
Was your partner tested by PCR swab and it came back positive for type 1? If that's the case, then yes, it seems like she got hsv1 genitally via oral sex.
Small bumps and redness doesn't sound like herpes. That could be anything from irritation to an allergic reaction to something, eczema, dermatitis, etc., etc.