really good sex jokes

NOW I want to know some good clean practical jokes I can play on him. He has done plenty to me in the time I have known him and I need some ideas!!!! Nothing that is considered easy targeting back to me though...hee hee!

This elderly lady went to the doctor for a checkup. Everything checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years now, and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's sex drive." The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give him Viagra?" The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him to take aspirin when he has a headache," she claimed.

Hey guys dont get up set over the jokes we can make a FB page and shoot it right back at them haha get even! Better YouTube I can make a video I will do interviews of patients we can all tell our story and SLAM JOAN RIVERS for her uncaring ways my luck she would show up at my front door with a camera and I would be arrested for assalt.

Ok, we've had enough depressing and serious things lately. Does anyone know any good jokes? Please give me some new material to give my husband! If he tells me one more of his tired, old, BAD jokes one more time I may run out of my house screaming! Lol. So, what's a really good one? Let's share! I'll try to think up some or find some too.

I know it's good to have a sense of humor ...but I'm honestly sick of the pregnancy jokes already! Maybe it's because I work around a lot of employees plus I work with the public so it's pretty much constant but I'm so annoyed already and I'm only 27 weeks !!

can we post jokes on here. I have a funny one that made me chuckle 2day which I totally needed. I saw on the social side that you can't someone said. Let me know and I will post it.

I am a 25 year old male and was recently diagnosed with herpes type 2 about 6 months ago. With regards to dating I am not really worried about disclosing it to any future partners. I think they should know. However, I am more worried that they might consult their close friends about the situation after I tell them. How do you tell someone and not make it sound like a big deal while at the same time conveying how important it is to you that they not discuss the matter with anyone else.

Well, after ELEVEN weeks of PP bleeding, I finally stop, four weeks ago...and guess what...I go to the bathroom, wipe, and I believe I have just started my first PP AF...Seriously??? WTH!?!?!? Since I'm exclusively BFing, I was hoping it wouldn't show for a few months, HA! Jokes on me, and it's not very funny. So I guess I'm back to tracking to keep up with AF and see if I'm like I was before my BFP.

hey coolio, good to see you. we have been missin you.

It's hard to get a little more thick skinned about things that affect us I think. So much easier to joke about something else than it is for us to hear jokes about something we are sensitive about. when I know it's not someone putting me down, I take it for what it is. I know I'm certainly not innocent of never telling distasteful and offensive jokes though now that I'm older I've found I can't remember the good ones to retell them....

And it is also true, that your body is still growing, so it is hard to know now what your size will be when you are 25 or so. In any case, do not worry about the size, your size gives you all the good chances to have a good and mutually satisfying sex life in your future. I wish you all the best!

hey sorry your having a tough day so far, but i know your strong enough to get through it. remember the list of triggers you wrote, try to avoid any of those today and keep busy. something crazy happened to me last night, so i haven't slept and im struggling right along with you today. we will get through this, just have to dig a little deeper today. stay strong. hey if you have any more of those jokes, send them to me today, i need a laugh.

I don't really have the desire for it but I let the father of my child go for it as I know it'll get into it lolol. I'm 32 weeks and he doesn't get scared or bothered. I used to feel shy because of my body but he tells me he likes my belly.

I feel bad about turning my husband down all the time so what i did was buy some lubricant and the Fifty Shades of Grey series and read it every evening and then when hes ready to go so am i lol seriously all jokes aside that darn Christian Grey has made my sex like AMAZING lol i say if all else fails try that seriously. It always gets me in the mood and the sometimes lub isnt even necessary unless your really not in the mood and you are just giving in to make him happy.

Ive been feeling really blue and have noone to talk to. Been wanting to see a therapist, but with my history of bipolar, i dont want anyone to take my babies away. Im stable, i can care for my kids n i love them, im just in need of counseling. How or what should i do?

Everyone who has ever had a dog calls him Rover or Boy.. I call my dog Sex. He is truly a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment. When I went to City Hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said "Yeah, I'd like one too!" Then I said, "But this is a dog". He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then I said "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old".

as anticipated in my question, we have been living together for the last 6 years, and I know there are NO Others on both sides. So far she did not suffer from any gonorrhea or syphilis nor herpes. I was just wondering if it wuld cause her any stomac upset on the long run, or any other detail we should know.

This is something I really have to share. Since my detox from methadone, I find myself able to laugh and enjoy things more now for some reason. And I especially laugh at my kids alot more these days. My daughter just got home from school and came in and said she isn't allowed to wear the undershirt alone that she had on today. She had worn a spaghetti strap tank top with an open long sleeve shirt today and got hot so decided to take the long sleeve shirt off.

My first pregnancy I got the really strong sex drive 2nd trimester and not even a little this time. Im a scheduled c-section November 25th so im at about the same place as u n all I want is to cuddle lol ive heard if ur really tired maybe from work or stress or other stuff u might not get the drive idk can I ask r u having a girl or boy?

I don't quite know what to do in such a situation but if I were you, I wouldn't tell my dad YET. Try to get him to accept that lesbians and bis should be accepted, since they're born the way they are. Or perhaps, you can keep him in the dark forever, which is gonna be a bit hard cause of what people say, they'll find out somehow. I believe your dad has an idea of what you really like that thus, he's making jokes to change you.

Hey all, I'm curious to know why my boyfriend doesn't *want* to *** when I give him head (he can and has before). I'm planning on asking him this personally, but before I do I'd like advice or feedback about how to go about the conversation. When I give him head he tells me to stop right before he cums because "it feels too good". He's cummed before when I've given head but also then had said I "could stop cause it's so good".

Really good sex jokes

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