Hello.
This is very confusing to me; no wonder you're confused too! One physician tells you that you have damage, and others say it's psychological. In any case, you're not getting the help you need.
Needless to say, as soon as you receive your health card, see a urologist for a thorough exam. If, in fact, you have little or no physical damage, then you need to look at what it is about being sexual with your wife that is causing you anxiety and discomfort.