In my country, quite a few (and I am well aware of that) cheat husbands transferred HIV
to their wives who became innocent victims
. So sex between the spouses is not a guarantee for a safe sex, unless both are mutually committed and 100% monogamous.
Transmission of HIV is only possible via unprotected anal and vaginal sex only, when we talk about its sexual routes exclusively. I haven't heard any case of transmission caused by a non-penetrating fun.