So based on the info you read in her obit, that she requested donations to be made to a hospice and AIDS project, you have concluded that she was indeed
HIV+ and died of
AIDS? Wow, thats sum conclusion. More likely however, is that in the intervening years she either became involved, as a volunteer or knew someone who had passed away to an AIDS related illness and decided that instead of flowers she would want people to make a donation to said hospice\AIDS project.