You can not have any pills or any way to get them. Then, you will need support. Family, friends, this board, meetings... Motivational
music,
quotes, self help books are all good, but you will need more than that! These are the things that need to be done for you to be successful! I really believe that you want to quit and take control of your life! I wish you all the best, and please keep posting for support and advice! Take care!