funny text message jokes

So im on the treadmill which I haven't been on in a long time an a text message comes in from a friend that has 30 vics for sale. It took a mental hit but I said no and let him know I don't need them anymore.

can we post jokes on here. I have a funny one that made me chuckle 2day which I totally needed. I saw on the social side that you can't someone said. Let me know and I will post it.

So everyone likes to joke about my belly button I had a family reunion two weeks ago and my cousin said it looks Like I have a 3rd nipple..

I know it's good to have a sense of humor ...but I'm honestly sick of the pregnancy jokes already! Maybe it's because I work around a lot of employees plus I work with the public so it's pretty much constant but I'm so annoyed already and I'm only 27 weeks !!

I don't know if this is a bipolar issue or not. I know that all people have the "not me but you" theory. As in, when you see a public service announcement saying "Smoking kills" something inside your head says, "Yes, smoking is very bad for other people, but not me." (this is just an example, we do it with all types of things.) It is the same with jokes.

Does anyone else get offended by jokes that people always make about STDs, particularly herpes? Since I just got diagnosed with herpes I find them very offensive now. My question is should I be offended? And why do people find herpes so funny?

//www.incivek.

As for ideas, one April fools day I played some practical jokes on my husband that he thought was pretty funny. And not a single one hurt him or anything else! The first thing I did was have some of my neighbor friends move his car out of our driveway the night before, after my husband was in bed. You should have seen us! Four of us moving the car across the street, giggling like kids and wondering what the police might think if they saw us!

(!!! THIS IS A JOKE !!!) I found this funny so I thought I'd share. I was researching the MTHFR gene before my Doctor's appointment today and found this. A moment of levity. Pregnancy Q & A Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth.

This is plea to those using text message abbreviations in their posts - PLEASE use the english language! I don't mind some abbreviations - for instance, there are a set list of abbreviations that many of the women on the fertility forum use like "O" for ovulation, "TTC" for trying to conceive, "af" for aunt flow (menstruation), etc....

Biggest pis off right now - my sister I STopped talking too because of a bunch of reasons just sends me a Facebook message about the gender. I told him not to even. A tell anyone I was pregnant and he told his mom who has the biggest mouth ever. I just wanna scream.

Well I went to work this morning like always. Around noon today I got a text message that blew my mind. To make a long story short it said that my friend was found in a ditch this morning an she was dead. TOLD YOU IT WAS NUTS! I was shocked! I tried to call her cell phone an no one answered. So I sent a text back. I asked if it was a joke because it was not funny. Some one wrote me back an said that my friend had left her cell at work the day before an she was her co-worker.

I can't wait until my husband does this. This is our first baby and I'm 12 weeks 4days and he doesn't seem interested at all.

That was way too funny....

AHAHAAH... No you're not at all. We're pregnant #1. My boyfriend does the same thing. It's like he has this weird sense of humor where he thinks he's being funny, but any "normal" person would be like... "Um .. Ok?" Sometimes it does **** me off, I don't feel like hearing his smart comments or any of his ridiculous jokes. I love him to death, but it's just annoying x10 now that I'm pregnant. I've responded rudely plenty times.

Recently my 8 year old son has started telling fart jokes and now thinks gross/gory topics are really funny. He's burping in people's faces (and thinks this is funny!), blurting out crude things, repeating stuff he's heard from other kids, and making up his own tactless jokes which he will tell to anyone, even people in the line at the grocery store. Where did his manners go?? Most recently he flashed his privates at some girls (daughters of a family friend), they yelled "gross!

These are funny!!!! So does anyone know if we dump the whole can of Slimfast in the washer??!!!!

I have now written several personal messages that have not submitted for different reasons. Accidently hitting a random key can make my entire message disappear! I learned to use Ctrl C as I type, but that doesn't always bring back the text. Yesterday I wrote a long message, (spent several hours composing it), and after submitting, MH asked me to log back in! When I did, the message was gone. I tried using Ctrl V, but that didn't bring it back.

I copied all your posts from the previous thread and sent them to Carl so he could print them out for Sam. Below is the message he sent in return. Hello Doni, Thank you so much for your kindness and ralyign support. I can not access the forum posts but if people want to send emails to my alternative address mail @ go 2. org.uk and use a subject line of "Thinking Of Sam", I can transfer them to Sam by text or print them off.

Check and count your messages, and you'll see two not there also.

Funny text message jokes

Common Questions and Answers about Funny text message jokes

massage