funny divorce quotes and sayings

Here are just a few funny quotes that will make you laugh and brighten your days. If you all have any, please post................ 1. "To often, we lose sight of lifes simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and b****-slap that mother.... upside the head. Pass it on... " ? ? 2. "Be tolerant of the human race.

Ok so I was on face book and saw a pic with a funny cute saying right around the time I found out I was pregnant. I thought I'd share it with your all because the saying was funny and makes me smile. "God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently God thinks I'm a bad a.s.s.

I've seen some pretty inventive sayings on church signboards ...I saw this today and it cracked me up! Thought I'd share it.

Deb, see what you started? THANKS! I look for the new quotes and updates first thing every morning, and again later in the Day to see if there are any additions. Better than a dose of medicine!

I have been seeing quotes from others and writing quotes, and others in detox are requesting more. I know in my darkest hours that I chanted, "There is no problem so big that drugs can't make it worse." What has helped or is helping you? God, Grant me the serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.

Are we only doing movies? Or can we do TV?

Thanks for posting that! It's strange how a single sentence can sum up how you feel (HELL) let you know your not the only one, and if you keep walking long enough...( Well, at least I hope if I walk on long enough!!) I'll reach the end. Or at least find a place with central air. Whoever said go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company sure as h*ll wasn't f*cking kidding about the climate part!!!!! ....or the company for that matter.

Ditto TTiKKerBBell!!!! If this is accurate and true........appalling First, she would have to admit there is a serious issue here, then go for intense therapy, etc., however, she states there is "nothing" going on and she sees NO problem. Personally, I wouldn't be able to stay and have someone carry on like this with their child; there are just too many weird incidences going on. This is too horrific.

I got this from another member in my email...had to post b/c it's funny! FUNNIEST DIVORCE LETTER EVER! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Life is an ongoing succession of births and deaths. From this perspective, we must seek our goal and mission in something that transcends birth and death, something that we can give our whole life to. Only then can we tap the inexhaustible potential of life. In other words, we must advance beyond the mere struggle to stay alive and be prepared to ask ourselves for what purpose we live our lives..

My question is about these quotes I have been posting I would like to know if I posted some on religon would that offend anyone being that must would be refferancing Buddhsium but when you read the quotes the can be transfered into anyones faith so I would like to know if people would be offended thanks.

long you live and high you fly...and smiles you ll give and tears you ll cry...and all you touch and all you see... is all your life will ever be...PF sara...i remember peter, paul and mary...i love leaving on a jet plane....

He listened politely and said that he missed his old home terribly and would be willing to reduce his divorce settlement in exchange for having the house. Knowing he could have no idea how bad the smell really was, she agreed on a price that was only 1/10 nth of what the house had been worth ... but only if he would sign the papers that very day. He agreed, and within two hours her lawyers delivered the completed paperwork.

Sooooo good and so true! Very funny stuff...this is fun and we should do it more often. We need some comic relief on here. Keep 'em coming.

I know I went through a divorce having my daughter and through all the turmoil I felt something would happen..and she was fine and quite a placid little girl..i hope that helps reduce your worries a tiny bit..

Have fun with the sarcasm...DH and I are both very sarcastic and some of the things that come out of our girls mouths....we can't blame them it's all our fault. We have a very sarcastic 2 and 5 year old....fun, fun! DH doesn't say anything funny...just touches my belly a lot and asks how I'm doing then asks how his baby is doing, it's sweet :-) Do have a kinda funny story though...

Oh my gosh! You are both funny! I read Deb's and was going to tell her I thought it was so true so funny and she must have worked for the Federal Govt at some point in time. Then I saw Magnum's joke and really laughed. This is funny Thanks to both of you, I needed a laugh right about now.

For myself I believe that I 'can' lose weight, but sometimes fail to see that I 'will' lose weight. Faith and belief are paramount to success, I am going to substutite 'can' for 'will' and success should follow. I always tell my daughter and step children that they can achieve whatever they set their mind to do. It's important to share these beliefs as it changes them from a wish into a reality.

I got bleeding hemorrhoids,I wonder when I have Vaginal intercourse with the sex woker(girl on top and protected),if her Menstrual blood flow my penis to tuch my bleeding hemorrhoids,is there any risk to be infected HIV?All said HIV can not live outside the environment and die very quickly,that means i never have an exposure?Hope for your help,thanks.

Funny divorce quotes and sayings

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