Divorce quotes that are funny

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765070 tn?1384869794 Here are just a few funny quotes that will make you laugh and brighten your days. If you all have any, please post................ 1. "To often, we lose sight of lifes simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and b****-slap that mother.... upside the head. Pass it on... " ? ? 2. "Be tolerant of the human race.
10175413 tn?1427170251 Rod Stewart According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men then they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where of course, men are just are just grateful... Robert De Niro Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word, means ripping out a man’s genitals through his wallet...
Avatar m tn I have been seeing quotes from others and writing quotes, and others in detox are requesting more. I know in my darkest hours that I chanted, "There is no problem so big that drugs can't make it worse." What has helped or is helping you? God, Grant me the serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.
Avatar m tn I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. ~~ Robert McCloskey I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.
6708370 tn?1471490210 I just meant that hepcandme should go to the Hepatitis C forum if she was looking for information as I believed that this forum "hepatitis social" that we are on now was more for the quotes and jokes. I think it's important to have a spot for them though, if it puts a smile on one person's face then it's worth it.
1692167 tn?1327539457 Are we only doing movies? Or can we do TV?
198419 tn?1360242356 And the dimwit who was looking for fluid in all the wrong places on my ankles, the nodules I have are pretty self explanatory but that idiot would not run that little wand over my huge pocket of fluid, I just wanted to smack him right across his face. So much for that test they were supposed to do...And please, please, don't let him graduate med school so he can do tubal ligations from the ankles....
1718855 tn?1401756839 Got some lyrics yet...? can't be tooooo obscure now...that'd be mean...remember that we are in recovery from drug abuse...
Avatar f tn Guide your actions by that, if you feel like crying, give yourself permission to do that, if you are stress as well, if you are happy laugh... Really just give yourself permission to feel and be yourself, let your feelings flow instead of repressing them. In addition to that, if you are open to it, I have found that along prayer and the things you mentioned, meditation and prenatal works wonders to remain centered.
424839 tn?1268186246 My question is about these quotes I have been posting I would like to know if I posted some on religon would that offend anyone being that must would be refferancing Buddhsium but when you read the quotes the can be transfered into anyones faith so I would like to know if people would be offended thanks.
1901568 tn?1339091941 Have fun with the sarcasm...DH and I are both very sarcastic and some of the things that come out of our girls mouths....we can't blame them it's all our fault. We have a very sarcastic 2 and 5 year old....fun, fun! DH doesn't say anything funny...just touches my belly a lot and asks how I'm doing then asks how his baby is doing, it's sweet :-) Do have a kinda funny story though...
579258 tn?1250649343 For myself I believe that I 'can' lose weight, but sometimes fail to see that I 'will' lose weight. Faith and belief are paramount to success, I am going to substutite 'can' for 'will' and success should follow. I always tell my daughter and step children that they can achieve whatever they set their mind to do. It's important to share these beliefs as it changes them from a wish into a reality.
10175413 tn?1427170251 Oh my gosh! You are both funny! I read Deb's and was going to tell her I thought it was so true so funny and she must have worked for the Federal Govt at some point in time. Then I saw Magnum's joke and really laughed. This is funny Thanks to both of you, I needed a laugh right about now.
Avatar m tn I like a thread of lighthearted jokes for the mood that I have been in lately........so I will even contribute some more "Did ya ever think about it" kind of stuff. *If money doesnt grow on trees....why do banks have branches? *Why is it that you "put your two cents in" - - Yet theres only "a penny for your thoughts" .........Where is the extra cash going? *Why did we put a man on the moon before we figured out that it was good idea to put wheels on our luggage?
Avatar f tn After 3 years of ttc, all sorts of tests, and 2 IUI, I finally got pregnant...only to m/c at 61/2 wks (5 wks ago). I have been doing OK, I guess, with ups and downs, but my marriage is suffering. I have felt alone and miserable; my husband seems to be doing great. Just now I was trying to talk to him: I was telling him how I had had a great day, feeling fine all morning... I also said I was surprised that it had been quite a while since I felt so good, but that later I felt sad...
Avatar f tn My sis is going to paint one for me that says simply ment to be.
Avatar f tn Hello ladies! Something new I felt like starting. Just because. I love quotes :). Wishing you lots of sunshine, hugs and love today! If instead of a gem, or even a flower, we should cast the gift of a loving thought into the heart of a friend, that would be giving as the angels give.
Avatar m tn What a strange way to put it. You are accusing our partner of molesting her son. That isn't teaching him anything but would mean she is a sick predator. His not ever giving her up sounds like you see him as the other man verses a child victem to a mom that is sexual with her son. You need to report her to child protective services immediately.
10996785 tn?1432812977 I love the quotes! When I"m sad, I'll go to youtube sometimes and watch funny stand-up routines. Louie CK, George Carlin, etc. Just a thought..
13167 tn?1327194124 The divorce rate might have dropped because the marriage rate has dropped. I'm not sure. I can't tell how old you are from your profile, but I came of age in the 70's. And I have to say, the poverty rate for single women and children isn't what it is today. There were FEW kids on reduced meals at school - almost all parents took care of their kids, financially and otherwise. And I do realize, thankfully, teen pregnancy rates are down.
Avatar n tn My friends knowing that I am knowledgeable about HIV are always asking me numerous questions. However, I cannot answer them all. So I was hoping someone here can give some advice. My one friend had unprotected sex and is now suffering from stress and has diarrhea. Now I advised him to get tested at 3 months, however, he is freaking out about the window period, and the so called symptom of "diarrhea.
Avatar m tn If she has a job and you don't how is i that she doesn't have a life? Beg her to give the new medication some time. I think it's a very good sign that you want this so much and are willing to try. I didn't care foe Abilify myself but I know it works for some of us. Give it enough time but if it's not the difference you hoped for then go right back to your psychiatrist and ask for a change. It usually takes multiple visits to your pdoc to finally get the meds right.