body gas jokes

I was wondering if anyone loves their new body? I certainly do! I've always had a big butt and kind of medium hips not too big but ever since I got pregnant my hips have stretched out so much like I truly have a hour glass figure now!

Hey guys dont get up set over the jokes we can make a FB page and shoot it right back at them haha get even! Better YouTube I can make a video I will do interviews of patients we can all tell our story and SLAM JOAN RIVERS for her uncaring ways my luck she would show up at my front door with a camera and I would be arrested for assalt.

can we post jokes on here. I have a funny one that made me chuckle 2day which I totally needed. I saw on the social side that you can't someone said. Let me know and I will post it.

I have been having stomache issues and uncontrolable gas for the past year. I'm to the point that I think I am allergic to dairy , gluten and have extreme social anxiety. I can go without dairy but still pass gas uncontrolable as well as gluten. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm 20 and I can't even stay in the same spot for more then 30 min without passing gas. At work people notice, hold their breath and make jokes and say things.

This is very common for those of us with anxiety/panic. The more vigilant you become about your breathing, the worse your symptoms will become. Often we "overbreath," which is known as hyperventilation, and can causes a great many symptoms that lead to anxiety and panic. Many people who experience this hyperventilation syndrome are frightened and may blieve they're having a heart attack.

I know it's good to have a sense of humor ...but I'm honestly sick of the pregnancy jokes already! Maybe it's because I work around a lot of employees plus I work with the public so it's pretty much constant but I'm so annoyed already and I'm only 27 weeks !!

All the jokes I can think of are filthy and I think Emily would take them down but thanks guys for the laughs!

Does anyone else get offended by jokes that people always make about STDs, particularly herpes? Since I just got diagnosed with herpes I find them very offensive now. My question is should I be offended? And why do people find herpes so funny?

My scale states that my % body fat is 21. Is this a healthy number to be at? I realize this sounds warped but based on my perception of my mirror image and the way my stomach appears as I look down, I'm concerned I may be heavy for how petite my build is. I apologize for the length. Any thoughts?

t take much seriously. I can make jokes which i know are jokes and others know i am joking. People often laugh at me and when i ask why they are laughing they say that i am being funny but i wasn't trying to be funny. When i ask what is it about me that is funny they just say the way you act and just the way you are. I don't like it, it would be fine if i was trying to be funny but i am not. I don't think if myself as weird or different, so what could be so funny about me?

I'm 14 and starting to become a sophomore and my gf was makin penis jokes and that got me thinkin bout my penis. Its around 5 1/2 inches when Im erected :/ I cant buy enlargement pills since I dont have a credit and Im too young. Any tips on how I can make my penis grow so I don't have to be all shy and ****?

Hello guys. I have been suffering from PATM for 6 years now. I always notice people around me coughing, sneezing, scratching their nose, eyes and skin. I'm starting to believe that PATM is caused by some gas in our body. Recently I've been feeling like something is coming out of my skin and then I start scratching it.. Anyone else go through this?

I had IUI tuesday , since then i have felt weird, tired and very emotional for no reason, hubby jokes i cry... Breasts are very itchy. I cant see there wld be any signs of anything if it had worked so far its doing my head in! Please anyone else feel like this?

I can get gas in strange places in my body. I know it is gas because when i hit my side or pound on my back i can create a burp. the gas is very painful and can travel through my body to different parts causing very strange symptoms. I can create a burp within a few seconds by hitting my back with my hand ( like burping a baby) The gas can be in my side, middle of my back, hips, etc,, sometimes it feels like my lungs hurt but i can tell it is gas.

I have started wandering if I might be having twins. All of this started when I had a bunch of different people make jokes that I am having twins! They weren't joking on the size of my stomach or anything, just made casual jokes that I am having twins. I am 9 1/2 weeks pregnant now and up until now I have been questioning if I really am pregnant! I never had any symptoms and the only reason I took a pregnancy test was because I was 4 days late and I hadn't started my period.

Mine is so bad, I can't physically, stop it! So embarrassing sometimes..my husband makes jokes about my gas all the time.. lol, whenever he walks in the house, he goes : is it safe? Should I get febreeze! , he also said to me once, if I lit a match or lighter, the whole house will blow up!

So Im 38 wks 3 days and I have the WORST gas ever. Any other mums dealing with this? Im also 5 cm and 80% effaced and his head is at -1. Not in labor.

Remember we are in the middle of cowboy country and everybody makes their money off of cattle or natural gas. Okay, guess away. If anybody gets it I'll be so surprised!

Recently, I have heard weird sounds coming from my body. At first it sounded like a high-pitched cry coming from my stomach. Now it sounds like squeaking, bubbling, and popping in my throat, mouth, right shoulder, and lower region.

I am a 38 yr old female with bloating, gas and farting on a daily basis, what is wrong with me?

I had R ankle surgery last Thursday- surgery went fine- the tendon was better than the surgeon thought but the bone spurs were much worse- since the MRI & xray were done over five months ago. The surgeon was able to talk me & my wife later because of his schedule. He said once he made the incision it was 2 1/2 hours of repair. He installed the screw- graft- removed the spurs & reduced the tendon. I had the following problems after surgery, before they pulled the I.

Hi, I have had fecal body odor for a while now. I can smell it a lot too, so I know it’s real. I told my mom, but she thinks it’s my imagination. The past few months I’ve been dealing with gastro problems like stomach aches, diarrhea & severe constipation, body aches, etc. Had an endoscopy for suspected celiac & it was negative. Finally was recommended to visit an allergist by my dietician and had a full skin tag test done.

So i love my boyfriend and i am so glad he is giving me the blessing of our first child. But sometimes i feel he isn't mature enough to raise a child. The jokes he makes are a bit insulting and he doesnt take it as seriously as i wish he would.. did any other girls have this problem?

Portland PDX is ranked as one of the best airports in the country to hang out in. Craig was happy and telling jokes and was really a gas! We had a great time, spent about 3 hours over dinner and then it was time for his flight. We enjoyed him so much! Guys, he is soooo smart! Though you could probably guess that with a PhD, a JD and and MBA. But, beyond that he was a lot of fun. Elaine, thanks for lending us your hubby.

I 24, male, athletic and healthy normal diet, mostly organic and whole foods until i had som troubles with the misses and i moved in with a buddy. No food no stove no nuttin, so I started eating fast food and from a microwave jus for a month and then suddenly they came, this endless hunger pain and now I can't sleep or work or do anything without bringing my refrigerator with me.

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