Abuse is generally reserved for physical
abuse. What your husband is is bossy and nasty. Unpleasant, but not quite the same thing, in that you are not controlled by fear.
So why do you put up with it? You can go to other people for help, but the best help comes from you. When he gets into one of his mean moods, ignore him, walk out of the room, go shopping. He would soon give up because your silence would deprive him of satisfaction. As it is, you are playing into his hands.