These are tough on you, I know because I've experienced them and had to go on medication, my son (38) chooses to work thru his. Why do you feel people look
at you like
some kind of monster? You're not alone, truly. All of us on here have been there many times, and are here to support and listen to you. Talking about things can also be very therapeutic. I hope you don't feel that moving will end your problems, it won't. Sometimes we think it will, but the problem lies within us.