Dear Carmenmiranda,
The term
commitment-phobic is convenient, but doesn’t tell us much beyond what we already know, that your boyfriend is betwixt and between, ambivalent as anything, all over the place. Yes he’s phobic about making a long-term relationship, but why? My best guess from pondering your email, is that he’s right about there being something missing. However, my other guess is that what’s missing is in him, not you or the relationship per se.