I truly think you need some kind of pschyotherapy - what you are doing is not natural, and I think you
need help to get life into perspective. You
need to think about your son's future mental development and the weird things you are doing. I don't find it all natural, and you could be harming your son.
Hope you can get some help as you are obviously in a seriously psychotic state and need some medical help to get you into a normal healthy mental state.