I was more afraid of dying and leaving my family alone than anything else by my first meeting. I didn't talk at all at first, could barely hold my head up, but I went to every one available in my county, NA, AA, group meetings, men's meetings, I made recovery a full time job. Some meetings I really disliked, others were amazing. I figured where I fit, who I connected with and trustsd, and I started to share more and more.