Willpower, inspiration, religious conversion
, 12-step groups and all the rest are impotent compared to
the physical damage done to
my brain. For example, I couldn't have written the posts I did tonight without narcotics in my system. I self-detox every month, but, after all the classic withdrawal symptoms are long gone, the misery, disfunctuionality, vacant thinking and abject depression and despair are more than I can live with. There is no Lourdes for lifetime junkies.