Hysterectomy jokes

Common Questions and Answers about Hysterectomy jokes

hysterectomy

It sounds like the menopause jokes I used to hear. I have two aunts with hysterectomy but my mother didn't require one. She had palpitations, itching, mood swings, night sweats, hot flashes, rage, anxiety...but no heavy bleeding...ever. So far in 2008, i've had 5 periods in 8 months. I'm 54.
I have been on Lyme Disease meds for a month now. On top of that I had Hysterectomy Mon which i wish i could take back. My uteris was too big and compressing my spine and i had 2 previous surgerys for scar tissue. Dr said i had severe endometriosis. Last time I had surgery this hospital gives me 20 5 mg oxycodones for pain. I take 180 10mg month for all my ailments so this didnt helo. I swore I would never get another operation if I wasnt able to deal with the pain afterwards.
That is an awesome suggestion for a tracker...there is alot of depression...would be great to post something funny and not offend anyone.
I used to tell my mother that if I ever die let doctors check my left side. Anyway, jokes aside. I had colonoscopy, barium X-rays, ultra sound test for gallbladder, kidney, and pancrease, and everything came out OK. And I had these symptoms for years. Later I started to learn about IBS. And my symptoms sounded like IBS. go to www.drdahlman.com website, and download a free report on IBS. You can also try Dr. Dahlman's treatment if you want.
hysterectomy I wonder if they will expect to do it before, or after the RAI, if it is cancer. My doctor looked confused when I asked if I could keep my battered ovaries. He said, "Yes, of course." I did a happy dance, and he was lost. I explained, I am done with my baby house, a hysterectomy means no need for birth control! I explained, "I'm old, not dead Doc!" He got a chuckle. Funny how doctors love to laugh at corny jokes.
Alot of our arguements seem to start when he makes dumb jokes about me wanting my ex back or me moving back to circleville, good gracious i'm with u!! How else can I prove I want him and a future with him? How else can I prove myself!?! What do I do? How can I just be happy?? so much confusion agian....
I have been told I have endometriosis and my uterus is the size of a football. Doctors say I will need a hysterectomy, they would try to leave my ovaries but was not shure if that would be possible until they looked inside. Here is my problem, what happens to my body and my emotions by going ahead with this. We are starting a new business! Two of my kids are in their teenage years and one entering next year but you would think she's already there. That’s enough drama by itself.
she wouldn't let me take her to a shelter, but I expected that. I know... Kathryn, send us more jokes... What they say about you see what you're looking for is probably true... or something. Seems like we don't see things until we can relate to them individually. She has my prayers. God has my heart.
I am now 54, had total hysterectomy in 2004 upon recommendation from the genetic DR. out in Duarte, CA and don't regret my decision in any way. Having had very large breasts on a 5'2" frame, they turned heads, they fed my kids and they were the butt of many jokes and laughs with my friends and family. My flat chest and refusal to wear my falsies are the butt of the jokes now! All in good fun and I am so happy to be alive and be able to laugh about it with my friends and family.
I began to ask a few questions.. and cracked a few jokes and asked if they were done.. The DR informed me that I may be a bit more sore than normal because she had a hard time reaching my left tube. (they went in through a little hole under my belly button about one and a half inches across) I told her, "I don't care as long as it works!" anyway Recovery was HELL. This was my 4th child and I never felt this terrible after having a baby!
she loves that about me and now I feel like all that is about to be taken from me by having this hysterectomy done and hearing all these crazy stories and experiences about what woman go threw after having it done.. I have never been a health freakk. I eat what ever I want, I dont exercise.. I dont take vitamines.. never thought I had too, I always did what I wanted and now Im hearing all this medication stuff and words Ive never even heard before..
he asked me about all my female problems and why I had a hysterectomy, I told him I had a prolapsed uterus, he then asked me why I lost the left ovary, I told him about the hemorrhagic cyst..he then said with all the female problems that I've had, maybe you should have been a man. I guess this was his attempt at humor that failed miserably. I followed up with my OBGYN.
Scan lady says kidneys look okay. Unsure which type of hysterectomy I had many years ago (?don't know if ovaries there) took national bowel cancer test last yr = okay, passing urine = okay, appetite and general other health= okay could something as large as this just float around?? so to speak. Yes very nervous but don't want to concern family so acting flippant eg = new clothes when gone etc. BUT obviously very worried realy.Apart from obvious fear= cancer what could this be.
Well you had some good news, at least. Hopefully you'll get more definitive answers at your post-op appt. The total hysterectomy is usually the only way to get it all, unfortunately. We women really need to push for more treatment options b/c the only treatment (hyster.) is a very, very severe one as far as I'm concerned. I also have the endo/adeno and cysts and waiting four more weeks for a follow up ultrasound and also this week for the results of my CA125 test.
where I had been stitched up on the inside from the hysterectomy. The NP that ordered the test couldn't answer any of my questions, said she had never heard of it and was supposed to set me up with a gynecologist. I am still waiting for that appt to be set up. In the mean time, I have tried to find info online about this. What is this? why does it make me bleed vaginally? (it's only slight) Will I need surgery to have it removed and biopsy?
I have always been the tough one when it comes to friends and family. In the E.R. i cracked jokes and laughed and generally annoyed my mother ha. I have acted as tho this does not bother me at all but I gotta tell someone.....I AM SCARED! Thanks for any feedback. Also please dont get mad at my for my horrible spelling and grammer. I am sitting here in pain typing at 5am so sorry.
I have been with my husband for 29 years,and STILL have to deal with a passive aggressi e MIL ...she constantly has made jabs and jokes at my expense in front of Husband, he acts like its her just tryna be social. I have gone to him on several occasions throughout this time period. He always says to me she just has a different type of personality.
I don't know because I'm on Estrogen only replacement therapy anyway. I had a complete hysterectomy at age 30, so. I'm not interested in stopping my Estrogen and yes, I know the risks and I really don't care all that much. I have mild osteopenia already started in my back and the Estrogen and slow that down. I have no history of breast cancer in my family and I get regular mammo's, so I'm not even slighlty worried about it.
I week ago I had a total hysterectomy, plus omentum and pelvic lymph nodes removed, samples taken from my organs. The pelvic wash showed cancer cells, but the large cyst (grapefruit size) around my ovary burst 5 days before the surgery. I have an appointment on Monday for the stage of ovarian cancer, and the treatment suggested.
It means teaching my kids to do those things too. It means being the butt of sexist jokes made by women, but it being politically incorrect to make sexist jokes back at them. It means encouraging my kids to take calculated risks (like climbing trees, or taking out a variable-rate mortgage), and leading by example.
As I told Friole in an earlier thread, we want so desperately for normalcy, all during tx, we just want some semblance of our life to be normal. I crack jokes, and walk out and feed the birds, because that is what I can do, and nothing else. I go to town maybe twice a month, if I have to. Month 4, hubby did all my shopping, I never left the house except to work.
WE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE CANCER AT THE END OF JANUARY; AND THEN FEBRUARY 1ST THEY ATTEMPTED A HYSTERECTOMY, BUT THEY HAD TO STOP THE SURGERY BECAUSE THERE WAS TOO MUCH CANCER. :( THE PLAN WAS TO LET HER GAIN SOME STRENGTH BACK AND THEN START CHEMO; BUT THINGS DIDN'T GO SMOOTHLY. NOW WE'RE AT THE POINT WHERE WE KNOW THE CHEMO ISN'T WORKING, AND IT'S TIME TO CONCENTRATE ON KEEPING HER AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE.
-) Ladies, I promise never again to make any PMS jokes as the cramps I have had tonight are horrible. Not to be rude but I dont know weather to fart or poop and sneening just makes it worse!
Your sign in - is SouthernBelle and not sure where you are in the South, but I was in Atlanta for 13 years before coming to San Diego. So here's two Jeff Foxworthy jokes to cheer you up - hopefully. "You may be a redneck if you walk your son to school because you're both in the same grade!
i have no cramping or any pains, just the constant spotting. my husband makes jokes that it is a great form of birth control bcuz i won't have intercourse with him while like this. your friend needs to talk to her doc & see if this is a normal complication. if so, beware. no pains physically, just a pain in my arse. good luck.
Yeah, maybe the person really meant to pass along a nice message and didn't realize the situation? It might not make your mom feel any better when she reads it, but hopefully that person didn't post that to be hateful. And yes, calos was here one minute, and then gone the next. She just went "whoosh," and was gone. Kind of like the jokes that flew over her head. It's sad, really.
You know I have had 2 MCs this year and they both feel like sick jokes. I don't even know if I will be abled to jump for joy if I get another BFP, because I feel like it will just end bad anyway. People told me that GOD must have known something was wrong with those babies and knew I couldn't handle it, but if that's the case why did he give them to me in the first place? And if he has all that power why couldn't he just fix them???
Then there is a special TV show here in Iceland that 95% of the peoble here watches this evening, because it is made for this evening, with jokes about what happened in Iceland for this year. They have actors playing the role of the president, and many other "famous" peoble from here. It is often very funny. Then at 23,30 peoble start doing fireworks all around, and at 24,00 the air is filled with beautiful fireworks all over.
i am currently on tx and i already had depression before i got started but after my hysterectomy 6 weeks ago, i started dwindling down real fast. it was like a spiral staircase affect. i didn't want to take an anti-depressant because i already am on alot of other meds and i didn't want to take another med. i tried to ignore it but i couldn't hide it from my gi, who knows me too well. i tried different things to deal with the depression but nothing worked.
When he suggested that I have a colonoscopy year ly to keep the adhesions stretched, I figured there had to be an easier way!!! Take care....Mary (Radical Hysterectomy due to Ovarian cancer diagnosis, prior Severe Cervical Dysplasia, endometriosis) Hi, I left a message for my old Weight training teacher (met her at a class at the local Community Center...what luck!) ....and, I asked her to call me and tell me the name of the ball again. In the meantime I will continue to research.
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