Hysterectomy is a pretty big deal for
women. It actually marks the end of reproductive ability, and for some women, the end of a sexual life, too (though this need not happen). After a hysterectomy, a woman needs, more than ever, a kind, supportive husband who has read a lot about the subject. You admit that you're kind of distant, which needs to change. I strongly suggest marital counseling. If your wife will not accompany you, go alone.