I'm sorry to hear your feeling like this. Try not to make yourself throw up. It's the worst possible thing you can do to yourself. It can lead to hair loss, tooth loss, weakness, dizziniess, headaches, blood tests, burning your esophogus. Really please, if you need someone to talk to talk to us here, or find a theripist. I regret sticking my finger down my throat. It was the worst thing i could have done, and i got hooked quickly.