You first have to realize that you can't fix him, but you do have a
choice. It's up to
much more damage you will allow him to
your finances and to your children. Even without physical abuse, he is abusing himself, his marriage, his relationships, your joint finances and is emotionally absent. Whatever he was before the drinking got out of control, he is not the same person now.
If you can't bring yourself to walk out yet, talk to a counselor yourself.