funny colonoscopy jokes

can we post jokes on here. I have a funny one that made me chuckle 2day which I totally needed. I saw on the social side that you can't someone said. Let me know and I will post it.

So everyone likes to joke about my belly button I had a family reunion two weeks ago and my cousin said it looks Like I have a 3rd nipple..

I know it's good to have a sense of humor ...but I'm honestly sick of the pregnancy jokes already! Maybe it's because I work around a lot of employees plus I work with the public so it's pretty much constant but I'm so annoyed already and I'm only 27 weeks !!

I don't know if this is a bipolar issue or not. I know that all people have the "not me but you" theory. As in, when you see a public service announcement saying "Smoking kills" something inside your head says, "Yes, smoking is very bad for other people, but not me." (this is just an example, we do it with all types of things.) It is the same with jokes.

Does anyone else get offended by jokes that people always make about STDs, particularly herpes? Since I just got diagnosed with herpes I find them very offensive now. My question is should I be offended? And why do people find herpes so funny?

As for ideas, one April fools day I played some practical jokes on my husband that he thought was pretty funny. And not a single one hurt him or anything else! The first thing I did was have some of my neighbor friends move his car out of our driveway the night before, after my husband was in bed. You should have seen us! Four of us moving the car across the street, giggling like kids and wondering what the police might think if they saw us!

(!!! THIS IS A JOKE !!!) I found this funny so I thought I'd share. I was researching the MTHFR gene before my Doctor's appointment today and found this. A moment of levity. Pregnancy Q & A Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth.

I can't wait until my husband does this. This is our first baby and I'm 12 weeks 4days and he doesn't seem interested at all.

That was way too funny....

AHAHAAH... No you're not at all. We're pregnant #1. My boyfriend does the same thing. It's like he has this weird sense of humor where he thinks he's being funny, but any "normal" person would be like... "Um .. Ok?" Sometimes it does **** me off, I don't feel like hearing his smart comments or any of his ridiculous jokes. I love him to death, but it's just annoying x10 now that I'm pregnant. I've responded rudely plenty times.

Recently my 8 year old son has started telling fart jokes and now thinks gross/gory topics are really funny. He's burping in people's faces (and thinks this is funny!), blurting out crude things, repeating stuff he's heard from other kids, and making up his own tactless jokes which he will tell to anyone, even people in the line at the grocery store. Where did his manners go?? Most recently he flashed his privates at some girls (daughters of a family friend), they yelled "gross!

I used to tell my mother that if I ever die let doctors check my left side. Anyway, jokes aside. I had colonoscopy, barium X-rays, ultra sound test for gallbladder, kidney, and pancrease, and everything came out OK. And I had these symptoms for years. Later I started to learn about IBS. And my symptoms sounded like IBS. go to www.drdahlman.com website, and download a free report on IBS. You can also try Dr. Dahlman's treatment if you want.

These are funny!!!! So does anyone know if we dump the whole can of Slimfast in the washer??!!!!

how many have had a colonoscopy and was it bad, the prep i ok with the putting to sleep i not like

Hey guys dont get up set over the jokes we can make a FB page and shoot it right back at them haha get even! Better YouTube I can make a video I will do interviews of patients we can all tell our story and SLAM JOAN RIVERS for her uncaring ways my luck she would show up at my front door with a camera and I would be arrested for assalt.

That is a precious story. Thanks, I needed a good laugh today. I will never forget that story. I'll think about it at my next colonoscopy, either though I won't be wearing any underwear. When it comes to looking at my butt sticking up in the air, it looks like an 18 hole golf course, sand traps and all....Horrible, just horrible!!!

Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it. The first hunter says "Wow, that's some hole, I can't even see the bottom, I wonder how deep it is?" The second hunter says" I don't know, let's throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom.

We had pizza for lunch, so I scribbled notes to my colleague, back and forth, back and forth. Then I wrote something that was relevant to our training and very funny. My colleague laughed, but not nearly as much as I did. I had the giggles, and a picture in my mind. I probably giggled on and off for 20 minutes, Was it really THAT funny, and I just had normal giggles, or was it mania? I enjoyed all the laughing! I guess the others would have thought that I don't take my job seriously?

Maybe in these rough times a sarcastic, brutally honest, yet funny woman can help lighten our spirits.

You always have great jokes Mangee - thanks for the laugh!

Posted by By Rachel Rose Hartman for The Ticket a Ynews blog Barack Obama impersonator Reggie Brown briefly stole the spotlight this weekend at the Republican Leadership Conference in New Orleans after making a series of racial jokes and taking digs at several 2012 GOP candidates--the stars of the show--before being pulled from the stage.

I had c-section 5 months ago. I arranged for colonoscopy as I see blood (after bowel movement) when I wipe. Is it safe to have colonoscopy 5 months after c-section? If anyone had the same experience, please help. I am going to do it in a clinic next week. But I am afraid. I have heard that it will be difficult for those who had abdominal surgery recently.

and the other guy says whats a heprechaun and he says a leprechaun with Hep C. Wow now thats funny. Is it just because I am part of this or do tv shows use this alot. dont make fun of Hiv or cancer. But Hep C is fare ground? Sad :( Maybe its the white car thing. ya know you buy a white car and all of a sudden you see them everywhere. Hope thats the case.

Funny colonoscopy jokes

Common Questions and Answers about Funny colonoscopy jokes

colon