Part of me does not believe in much of a god, except as an entity that started it all (not much of explanation a micro-cataphatic approach with a large dose of apophaticism that really leads to no knowledge of god). Another part of
me wants to believe in god, but, I fear
, as a kind of
good feeling that most normal people feel and experiences--fluidly (i.e., without disturbance, ritual, or conflict) as a feeling.