fart your guts out joke

Because I swear my *** run out of tissue every week drinking this water. And everytime I eat ice cream I fart like its no tomorrow and alot of times I can't fart because my fiance is around me so I got to hold it in. But when he leave I swear my farts sound like a gaint dinosaur. Then I hate the way I walk while pregnant I swear I look like a penguin wobbling from side to side.

Me and my hubby make a joke out of it.

Any you ladies fart in front of your man? Lol. Been with my bf since last January. Lived with him since April and have yet to fart in front of him (on purpose). Pregnancy makes me do gassy, in the morning when he leaves for work, I'm so happy to let some gas out, lol. I just can't bring myself to do it, I don't even know why! What about you ladies?

If you find this humorous, well, keep taking drugs and say goodbye to all your house pets, your dignity, and that agile muscle that prevents what just happened again, shorting out my keyboa

My fiance and dad to my child who is from africa has a tradition to fart on the pregnant wonen in there tribr to increase the chance of a healthy birth i have no idea the science behind it but they swear by it and are making me do it my fiance has now convinced my whole family of the farting idea and now every time anyone needs to fart they run over and do it on me :( i am really sick of it and not even sure if its working google wasnt very helpful either, please any advice on how to get used to

Now that im pregnant i fart a lot and they smell (tmi) and im constipated and my boy friend hates it and says i smell or tells me to get up out of bed everytime and fart in the bathroom .. I cant help it tho..

OK this maybe a ridiculous question but this is how I think. so my bladder is leaking like crazy and I can't take it anymore and yes I do realize this apart of pregnancy. But its extremely embarrassing to me. Well anyway I think I'm gonna start wearing pads And I guess my concern is that when my husband and I are making love and I take off my clothes and I'm wearing a pad I see it as a mood killer.

There is no tolet paper... You have wipe your *** with your first two fingers, then stick them out the hole and they will be licked clean for you." Well, he had no choice so he wiped his *** with his fingers and stuck them out the hole. All of a sudden a guy with two bricks smacked his fingers. The man screamed with pain and licked his own fingers.

Well obviously if I could fart or burp it out I would... I can't just do it on command! Must be nice to be able to tho!

when brushing your teeth everytime i do i keck and nearly throw my guts up i dread it everytime i got to brush my teeth no joke i kecked about 20 times yday and my cereal was making its way back up soz for tmi !!!! Later on i had a banana and oops .. that did it for me i threw up everywhere !

I have its just the baby putting pressure on your butt lol try to fart it my help .

When you spend hours & hours cleaning because everything looks dirty and you find a specific spot for everything. Then you go to leave and get so mad because you can't find your sunglasses, then you realize while sitting a stop light that they are on top of your head.

Its at the point were my husband is strongly considering sleeping on the couch. No joke. He says he has had enough. And he is an extremely loving easy going supportive person. I know this may sound silly but any advice to ease my tummy? I am roughly around 9 weeks or so. And a relatively small person at 113 pounds now. I have tried tiny meals or snacking but not helping.

Me and my baby daddy had problems ever since his bbymomma called my phone trying to start drama with me I admit that I cheated on him nd lied to him about it only once tho no body is perfect so he ended up finding out on his own every since then every thing went down hill he cheated on me with his other baby mom nd made another child with her I was so devastated all I could do was cry she didn't even tell him she was prego she call him up to the hospital nd blam the lil guy was right there

I had to throw up a few weeks ago and my bladder just gave out right then and there.

Sorry your post sat for so long.....a HUGE congrats on 10 DAYS!!! Most of us had major adjustments in our stomachs/bowels....opiates REALLY affect our entire bodies, but particularly our tummies because we have opiate receptors in our guts, too. Time (the 4 letter word we despise..lol) is the answer.

LOL @Treksy! Thanks for the laugh! I had almost unbearable gas pain for a few days until I took probiotics. That cleared it right up. I wasn't even able to get it out either end and I was miserable!

I got off my motorcycle and forgot to put down kick stand so it tipped over as I was getting off. I felt as though I just zoned out and forgot what I was doing. Is there an explanation for this?

Fart your guts out joke

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