I Don' think you're a bad friend to say enough is enough, but honestly, you can't help her, until she wants help
. Sometimes you just have to walk away. Though I have depression
and bipolar, I've had to walk away from a couple of friends that got like that.
Your friend was almost identical to my oldest friend, except the military thing. I've heard from her twice in the last 8 yrs or so. She hasn't changed, and I couldn't put up with the behaviors.