You'll never be able to gain closure from your baby living this way. Being sober and dealing with
it for real is the only and best way. So your goal now, however you decide to reach it, is to get to that point.
Be ready, because as touching as your story is, you will recieve plenty of advice. So, my advice right away is to take every single bit of it in. Write it all down. You know what withdrawl symptoms feel like. Does this mean you've tried to quit before?