dealing with death and grief

I will not say I know how you feel. I lost a son to non-hodgkins lymphoma on the 31st of january, 1998. sometimes it seems like so long ago and then at other times it seems like just yesterday. He battled the cancer for 9 years. he was diagnosed at age of 8 and died at 17 y/o. This sept 10, he would have been 32. No one can truly understand the emptiness a mother feels at the loss of a child. I believe the word I am looking for is "empathy". I know the pain I had and still have.

I have a friend who lost his wife a few months ago to cancer and is having a very hard time dealing with it. Yesterday I received another email from him (I live 300 miles away) and following is an excerpt of that email; " I"m not doing very well with this situation here. I don't know how people survive the sadness, loneliness, pain & guilt. My daughter said, why do you feel guilty, dad? I told her it's because she's dead,and I'm not.

it would be good to get some grief counsesling and maybe visit the grief forum to share your experience. I know my dad was self destructive and died at a very young age and I was very angry with him for a while for leaving my mom in dire striaghts and for not taking better care of himslef so he could be with us longer. I went to alot of therapy to work through this and I am ok and I miss my dad alot.

My mother died in my arms on July 19th and I will never be the same. She was 70 yrs. old and the grief that me and my family have experienced has been life changing. I miss going to her when I have a problem. I miss her voice and I just can't believe that my mother is gone. I had huge losses.

t any pain or tears in heaven, God Bless You. Grief also comes in waves so it will always come and go you will deal with it in your own unique style. Good Luck.

Having gone through therapy after my loss, the specialist in grief said that our mind protects us. And this is a good thing. The feelings after a death can be so intense that one can't function (me). Overwhelming loss can be too much to handle at times. Especially on days like an important anniversary. It was their recommendation to make it a special day for myself. In the early days of a traumatic loss, it's okay to take measures to make sure you get through the day.

Death brought me and my family to my knees, so I also understand your pain and I know the terrible grief that accompanies losing a beloved pet that were beloved members of our family and offered us an abundance of unconditional love. Just last night I created a brand new forum here called, "Pet grief support - "In Memory of Our Pets". It's brand new and I just added a photo of my Toby 2, so you are welcome to be the first to post if you so choose to do so.

my daughter was with her best friend when he was hit by a car and died. she was hysterical on the day and also when i said he had died.since then she has shown no emotion even when we went to the chapel of rest to see him.the funeral is this week and i dont know how she is going to be,im worried because she isnt more upset or is this just her way of dealing with this. we do speak to her about it and speak about her friend but she seems to show no emotion at all.

the rest of the post was supposed to be -- maybe if you were to talk with someone who specializes in dealing with people who are in grief, it will help you also. Good luck, dear. It is possible to feel more like yourself, even though you don't forget what happened.

God will not give you more than you can handle and you are talking with people who are dealing with the worst time of our life the death of a family member. My mother died in my arms and if I can "survive" such a hugh loss in my life, YOU CAN DO THIS....please, take the first step and say that yes, I can do this and be at my very best handling situations at the worst time. It's call being a survivor and taking charge of your life. Keep us informed on how you are doing ok....

t know if your family is Christian, but if yes, talk with your pastor and possibly have him come and speak with her. He will uplift her sorrowful spirit and give her hope for the future. Give your parents time. The loss of their child (regardless of age) is very traumatic, because a parent shouldn't have to bury their child. They will talk when they are ready and that's ok too.

Thank you for replying Red. What a tough story you have! Grief does so easily get complicated. We kind of put it off until we can deal with it don't we? How is it to come off the drugs? I really read so much strength in your reply, I don't know where to begin! I didn't always think it was manageable without my mother, but I was lucky though - my father re-married someone else after a while and we had a stabile home after a few hustle-bustles.

But I cherish the memories of christmas past, when we all got together and laughed and loved and shared the holidays with each other. I miss that time, yet I cherish the ones I still have also with the rest of my loved ones. I guess the only description that comes to mind is "Bittersweet". In order to experience the rainbows of life, we mush shed the tears it takes to make them. I heard that somewhere, and thought How very True!

not eating, not sleeping much, tears, needing to be alone, fear. I keep going over that last final day of his life, wondering what could have been changed, could I have done something to prevent it. There were witnesses to his death and I made the mistake of reading the accounts and the scene is now looping over and over again in my head, 24/7. The little bit of sleep I've gotten results in horrific night terrors. My grief has turned my life upside down in other ways.

basicly ever since my gran died(the closest and loveble person of my life) ive trodding along problems, a lot of problems with parents, friends and at school.ive lost a lot of people in my life and i thibnk in a way it was kind of my fault, and i keep beating my self up for it(no self hrming or commiting suicide) although i did feel like i wanted to.

I'm sure that many of us on this site that have been addicted to pills have had friends that are addicts that have not been able to stop and have paid the utlimate price. i'm 68 days clean from methadone and a 15 year opiate addiction.In the past 60 days i have buried 2 of my friends. Both died "pill related" deaths. Both had kids the same age as mine. The childrens grief is almost too much to handle.

Communications with deceased family members or friends take many forms including seeing them, hearing their voice, feeling them touch you, smelling their cologne, perfume or a favorite flower, sensing their presence or experiencing signs such as electronics turning off and on spontaneously, finding coins in unexpected places with the year of their birth or death, and seeing the deceased in vivid dreams.

Anyone else dealing with grief and having to take anti-depressants. I have not had any problems with depression or sleeping prior to my dads death. I have not ever lost a loved one, this is the hardest blow I have ever been dealt with in my life, and I am not coping too well. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am at my wits end as to what to do. And how long should I be taking antidepressants. And how long does it take for them to kick in.

Can anyone recommend any books on dealing with the loss of your mother and your very best friend. I know I need help, I feel like I'm drowning. I miss her so much, I just don't know how to go on. Thanks for any help you can give.

Hello- last week I experienced the death of a close relative after trying to resuscitate him. The next day I found out I am pregnant. I'm 7 wks along and struggling with the grief and worry over how it will affect the baby. Has anyone experienced something similar? How did you handle it? Thanks in advance.

Perhaps make an appointment and talk to your doctor about your concerns. Medication and therapy can both help you with the extended grieving process.

Is there an actual diagnosis of "complicated grief", and if so what is it and how is it resolved?

he need to remember her for all the good things she stood for and that she is still with him in spirit.she's in good hands and don't have to suffer anymore.he will be with her again when the time comes and never forget her and to keep moving forward with his life.everything happens for a purpose and theres always good that comes out of what we call bad.in time he will realize that.good luck and he has my deepest sympathy...

I am going thru a divorce and am 29weeks today with my 3rd child.....and just dont know what to do. I have 2 beautiful amazing boys who are 11 and 1 and my little princess on the way...that I know I have to be strong for. I just cant stop thinking of how she wont be there with my baby comes. I just keep hoping that this is just a really vivid pregnancy nightmare that I am going to wake up from at any minute.

Please forgive yourself, there is no way of knowing when someone is going to die. My dad was in the same house as my mother and when he got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, he dropped dead of a heart attack. Mom did not find him for an hour or so later. Sometimes even being in the same place does not mean you are there when they die.

Dealing with death and grief

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