Ask your doctor about Britoflex/Lofexidine (if in the UK), or Clonidine
(if in the USA), or Catapres (if in Australia), this will help your symptoms
Im so sorry to hear about your fiance and boyfriend, that is so unlucky for it to happen twice. It pains me that you had to go through that. Many addicts over estimate their addictions and take way too much to compensate. Id reccomend if you are serious about getting off drugs, you should plan a detox rather than maintenance.