clean eating jokes

NOW I want to know some good clean practical jokes I can play on him. He has done plenty to me in the time I have known him and I need some ideas!!!! Nothing that is considered easy targeting back to me though...hee hee!

Has anyone had to deal with their spouse and step child talk about how much they eat? I am 38 weeks and 6 days. I find myself eating alot at times but I dont always eat. I just seem to over indulge when I do. Today my 10 year old step daughter and my husband made cracks about me eating popsicles since I ate a bunch. It really upset me. Has anyone else dealt with this?

I know it's good to have a sense of humor ...but I'm honestly sick of the pregnancy jokes already! Maybe it's because I work around a lot of employees plus I work with the public so it's pretty much constant but I'm so annoyed already and I'm only 27 weeks !!

Hey guys dont get up set over the jokes we can make a FB page and shoot it right back at them haha get even! Better YouTube I can make a video I will do interviews of patients we can all tell our story and SLAM JOAN RIVERS for her uncaring ways my luck she would show up at my front door with a camera and I would be arrested for assalt.

can we post jokes on here. I have a funny one that made me chuckle 2day which I totally needed. I saw on the social side that you can't someone said. Let me know and I will post it.

Hi, Im 15, weigh 47kg (103 pounds) and am about 163cm. I have a athletic body, and im worried that i might be getting a eating disorder. My mum says its just how im built, and i'll get better. First of all, im scared to gain weight, and go over 50kg. I know im growing, but i dont wont to gain weight. I dont eat breakfast, sometimes lunch, and mabey dinner. I weigh myself, and if i think im getting close to 50kg, i wont eat, and might do some exercise.

All the jokes I can think of are filthy and I think Emily would take them down but thanks guys for the laughs!

Hello,guys. I used to have a bad habit that I liked to bite and break the skins of my mouth(oral mucosa),then I realized it was bad for my health,so I get rid of this habit,but there were some scars left. Yesterday when I was dining out with other people,a girl sticked her chopsticks (with some food she was eating) in my mouth after I told some dirty jokes....(well,it's just some jokes.

Does anyone else get offended by jokes that people always make about STDs, particularly herpes? Since I just got diagnosed with herpes I find them very offensive now. My question is should I be offended? And why do people find herpes so funny?

But what causes that? Last night was the first time I felt it and it freaked me out lol... I wasnt eating or drinking sooo y did he get the hiccups? Im 30+2 weeks by the way..

I'm 10 weeks and some change right now. My stomach is bigger than it should be, even after losing the bloatiness. Today, after waking up, I started eating immediately and didn't really stop for about 2 hours. Now only 2 hours later, I'm so hungry that I'm now dizzy as can be, and I just threw up all of the water I've been guzzling, trying to curb the unnecessary hunger. First of all: could I be having twins based on the size and extreme hunger?

@sillystring25 he jokes but all jokes aside he is serious so i guess why not and your so right on the last part lol

Eating smaller portions throughout the day is supposed to help an don't lay down to soon after eating but I'm 32 weeks an I get horrible heartburn to an tums only lasts like 10 minutes

Thank you!

I am thinking because i am not used to eating protein that the Instant Bkfst. concoctions i have invented may be filling me up for awhile.In any case i am making an app to see the Doc tommorrow.All this stress has probably affected me.You all take care. Snow ( it's not ascitetes.

Hi so I dry humped in my underwear. Can sperm travel through and get me pregnant? I had 2 period since the incident. The incident happened in August and I got my period. Then I got it in October. I didn't get it for September because I was late. I am scared that I could still be pregnant. Does this have a risk? Please I need real answers not jokes. I don't eat like at all. Ever since August I lost 20 pounds because I don't eat. Can not eating make you feel like your bloated?

My dear friend Toxictome is 6 months clean today. She is such a wonderful person and helped so many here. Especially me when I first started! But so many others as well. I wanted to congratulate her on her 6 months and to thank her for her great contributions. Toxic, I hope you come on today! I miss your quotes.

Sorry, don't mean to be a hard a$$, but you gotta have a link for all posts that start a new thread? The one to the Washington Post will do, for now.

I'm 22 weeks and so far I've already gained almost 20 pounds :( I don't understand why though!! I eat healthy, I only drink water and I walk 3 times a week for exercise. Is any one else dealing with this? It doesn't help that my family makes jokes about me getting fat all the time.

Ur pregnant he needs to realize things are gonna start changing for the next months on! Now if hes joking then its whatever my hubby jokes with me like that here and there but if hes serious them uh uh.

hey all..congrads to those that have hit a mark(no not shoot someone from the bell tower)as most know the life thing has turned into a cartoon(old looney toons) and it just keeps on keepin on...the dog thing,,,then car is right screwed now...you floor it and it take 10 minutes to get to 30 (in canadian)...now i went to look at new house and it is not done...landlady's paint guy bs'd her so now im ****** doing it(i've recruited assistance)...so now we have not moved,...

The visual of that shiny watch was just too real. I am snickering.

Subway is amazing are u aloud to eat peanuts then?

My mum went through a difficult time and eventually had a mental breakdown and my jokes made her smile it may not have been much but it was all I could do. Now I'm so depressed I want to die I have developed an eating disorder. The more depressed I get the more I think about suicide and the more I think about suicide the more depressed I get.

t always done all the time but always clean clothes to wear, dogs are taken care of, kitchen is clean, bathroom is clean, floors mopped, living room clean, food on the take 99% of the time, bills paid on time, errands run and I'm making another baby plus get up with our daughter in the middle of the night... Just frustrating that he would say I need to do more. I wanted to slap him.

Clean eating jokes

Common Questions and Answers about Clean eating jokes

eating