If you give in to these suicidal thoughts
and rage, you commit another sin. If you calm down, take care of yourself,
and go through treatment, you will do something really good. Not just good for yourself, but for others. You don't know how many people's lives you may touch in the future. Don't waste your chance to become better, get better, and help others. Any thoughts in this direction? Ever?
Wishing you the best!